CRUTCH THERAPY

Several years ago it was necessary for me to walk with crutches for weeks.
Perhaps others have learned the love/hate relationship one can have with crutches.

CRUTCH THERAPY
by
Susan Bruso, 2000

Firm calluses on the palms of both hands

Colorful rashes in the pits of both arms

Amazing development of your biceps and pecs

And finally alignment of those thoracic discs

Carrying newspaper and mail upstairs to the kitchen

Dropping both while clinging to railing and crutches

Bathrobe with thermos-sized pockets for coffee

Basket sledding down stairs full of family laundry

A spiral staircase leads to your doctor appointment

And a handicap bathroom with a door you can't open

Slippery soda is splashed on the floor in the mall

And escalators beg for a "911" call

Frustrated at your present condition?

Depressed by the nasty affliction?

Break or sprain, stitch or strain,

Try crutch therapy to ease the pain

"Short Toss" or "Slam Down" depending on muscle

As the crutch hits the ground so will the hassle

"Car Scratch and Dent" is especially soothing

(If it's someone else's car you are using)

The "Long Hurl" takes courage and pride

It's always best done alone and outside

Remember when using this mode of relief

You have to crawl over to pick up the bleep.